O is for obsession (or out of control)

I have an issue with sunglasses.

As in, I love them too much. A good pair of sunglasses can really do a lot for me, not gunna lie.

Just don't say no. (<---- my thoughts when I see any that I like)

Because of this I have acquired many and it's a little out of control, really. I mean, I think I have a problem. I've known this and joked about it for a while now. But seriously. I never get rid of them after I stop wearing them (or even after they break), and some of them are just awful.

I haven't told many people about my problem but it's time to come clean, I think. Like, really public. (Or at least as public as this gets, right here, this blog that I think maybe I only read... because I'm not really going to update my facebook status or anything. About sunglasses? Come on.)

I'm self indulgent, but I'm not that bad.

Anyway... back to the self indulgent thing...

I got really bored late Monday night. You see, I do not work on Tuesdays so I usually have some extra stay-up-late time on Mondays. The problem is, I'm usually very tired on Monday and not really looking to go out and use up the energy I don't have. I like to go home, cook myself some yums (healthy yums), and hang out with my roommates (read: parents who don't make me pay rent - yay! love you) in my jammies until it's late enough to go to bed and feel ok about not wasting a night where I don't have to at least try and feel guilty about staying up too late.

Fun fact: I used to go hang out at my friend's house - The Dome - but the new year brought on some complications with that plan and it's fizzled out and now I'm a real homebody on Mondays. (And by "complications" I mean I got lazy and other people who used to hang out started being giant flakes.)

Confession: The Bachelor is also hugely responsible for how this Monday at Home routine came to be. I had a commitment to watch it & feel better about myself because I wasn't as crazy as anyone who was on the show. But now it's not on anymore, so my Monday's are technically free, so now I'm just a loser that's started refusing to hang out with her friends.

Instead I do things like make the Kitten take pictures of me in all of my sunglasses.

Yes, that's what I spent my latenight time doing Monday night. Travel with me, if you will, back to this time. It's 12:20am. Exile on Main St (my fav Rolling Stones album, duh) is on shuffle in the background (mainly to remind me of what I should have been doing, what most sane people would have chosen to do, which was reading Keith Richard's book LIFE because it's good and I want to read it and - oh yeah - reading is a normal way to pass time). I find some lip gloss in an old purse and put it on. I find that I like it, even though it's bright pink and I'm not sure I can work it. I decide, after about 23 seconds of staring at myself in dim lighting, that I can pull it off, so I put more on and sing into the mirror. While doing this I find that I still like how my hair looks and think about how things like that will be good when I find a boy who will someday want to marry&live with me (and we are still young enough to want to be pretty for each other at 12:20am). Then the Kitten knocks something over on a shelf and I find my stash of sunglasses and marvel at how unecessarily (and beautifully) large it is. I start putting them on while I sing, grow bored with just looking in the mirror at myself singing, and brilliantly decide to turn it into a photo shoot since I 1) have nothing else to do and 2) I feel sort of good about taking pictures of myself now cause I'm all "healthier" and, hey, it's sort of fun and totally hard not to feel good when you are me, and tired, and totally loving Mick Jagger singing about the Good Lord shining a light on you.

So... Midnight (+20) Photo Shoot it is!

Again, the Kitten took all of these. She is oft' forced to hang out with me during these late night bore-sesh's and do stuff she wouldn't normally do, like use an iPhone to take pictures.

I Wear My Sunglesses @ Night

(by myself... like a lonely creep)




One
The current "Everydays"

 

Two
Got these as a surprise gift from a friend the other day
Red+beads=fun&loveable  but not Everydays



Three
Got these for a Rockstar party in 2007.
I need to find more reasons to wear them. YesIdo.

 

Four

Former Everydays... I'm cheating in the pic cause they are broken on the other side.

But you cannot see it.

Five
Whoa, these are actually 3-D glasses
The Kitten is wearing rainbows!

Six

Ah yes, Tilly's glasses. Redversion.

Stupid Tilly's and their buy one get one 1/2 off...

Seven
Tilly's galsses - Greenversion
Pissed a little bit, cause these are still rad but the green
is peeling off of them.
Leperglasses.

Eight
Tilly's glasses - Zebraversion?
I don't even know what was wrong with me.
Sorry.

Nine
Big white glasses, say what?
Can't rock these, but can't throw them away either.

Ten
Hannaglasses
I stole these from my friend Hannah in IN!
When I visited 2 yrs ago.
They are broken now as well. Second cheat!

Eleven
Big green glasses that used to be Everydays.
I forgot I had these, what a surprise for me!
(See how surprised I am?)

Twelve
Tilly's glasses uh-gain?!
Zebrapurpleversion??
So sad with myself right now...

Thirteen
Hot Carl's Aviators!
(Hot Carl = male-bro alter ego)
(You want to hang out with him)
(He's a good time)

Fourteen
Not sure where these even came from...
Dad aviators?
Could be useful in future for costume parties.

Fifteen
Close up because these have gold flecks in them
See them?
See them!

Sixteen
Old. Gross. Pink.
I can't even enjoy wearing them.

Seventeen

Also old. Not sure where they came from.

That's how bad my problem is.

Eighteen

More zebra print??

I don't even remember liking zebra print that much.

Couldn't even put these on, but Kitten insisted on a pic. 

Nineteen
Giant Golds
I got them as a gift from Nat for my Bday last year.
The remind me of my grandma.

Let the intervention begin.

Next time maybe I'll post pictures of my awesome new scarves. It's a thing I'm starting.

Finalthought: I'm so in love with the sea.

Jar O' the Day:



A spoon full of tricks

So, Mary Poppins and Dick Van Bert were totally getting it on, right?

caught

This has really been on my mind lately.

I mean, I can't imagine any man singing a song called "Jolly Holiday" about a woman who he's not getting any bedonk from. Even if he is British (and obviously, therefore, extremely familiar and comfortable with employing the word "jolly" on a regular, heterosexual basis) it's a bit too gentlemanly a gesture. He obviously wants her, and her suga', and I don't really blame him. Girl can rock an umbrella.

(I've found your muse, Ri-Ri)

Ella Ella Ella

Further proof of Bert's true intentions: Single guys do not escort strangerchildren about the town for naught but to be kind. I don't care who you are, or how cool your job is (chimney sweep = hanging out in other people's houses, dancing with their wives, no dress code, and inviting all of your friends over for a dance party in the middle of the day...uh, sign me up) you are not awesome enough to make it through a whole day with those two (--->) without knowing there's a pot o' sugar at the end of the free babysitting rainbow.

These kids are a giant bore (read: way too obsessed with kites).

Also, there's this to consider: cartoon animals.

this movie is not blatantly about drugs

We know from our good friend, Popular Culture, that cartoon animals are one of the main indicators that some - eh-hem, sugar - has been gotten by at least one of the parties involved in the live action shot they appear in.

500 Days of Summer

Who Framed Rodger Rabbit



The 3 Caballeros

Songs of the South



Mmhmm. Zip-a-dee-do, indeed.

Hollywoord works in patterns. You just have to know what to look for.

This also poses a whole new question: Is Mary Poppins the original Summer Finn?

Slightly more straightforward in her love 'em & leave 'em approach, Mary is clearly not very different from our more recent shevixen, Summer from 500 Days of Summer. They both are leading ladies, they both are impressive vocalists, and they both have undeniably unique style.

The biggest difference that exists between them, their male counterparts, is probably the key as to why we don't make the connection between the two girls auomatically. Bert the Chimney Sweep and Tom Hansen could not be more un-alike in their reactions to the ladies. We can only blame the guys' differences in this area on their varrying levels of experience, but it's probably the only reason why we don't have to watch Bert have a mental breakdown after M.Pop umbrella's herself the heck out of town (and out of his arms) at the end of the movie. Knowing that this is how she rolls, and that she despises commitment (Marry Poppins), he smiles and waves her a fond farewell instead of smashing in chimneys like Tom Van Dyke might have. And that's rather nice for us in the audience becuase, while JGL is quite good at the I'm-pretty-pathetically-upset--right-now (and-doing-irrational-things-because-of-it) humor, all we really want to see Bert do is tap dance on a rooftop with 50 of his closest, most filth-ridden comrades. Or take the kids on another clearly LSD induced journey into a chalk drawing.

Both Mary and Summer are full of tricks&lies that they mask with their clever combination of distraction and conviction, which defintely are always motivated by some sort of selfish ambition on each of their parts.

Do not trust this

Mary - Tricks kids into doing chores for her

Distraction: Sugar is yummy!           

Conviction Tool: Flawed health tips

Selfish Ambition: Tiny slaves



 


Same page, for sure



Summer - Tricks Tom into easily becoming her non-boyfriend-boyfriend

Distraction: Look how pretty I am!

Conviction Tool: GF/BF labels = LAME

Selfish Ambition: Friends with (one sided) benefits

So eager to spend time together

Mary - Tricks Mr. Banks into taking his children with him to his place of work one day. A bank. Every child's dream hang-out spot. (She couldn't have suggested Disneyland?)           

Distraction: Our outings sound like drug trips? Well, at least the children know what I do on the job.
Conviction Tool: Bad parenting

Selfish Ambition: Spontaneous day off

 

Look how pretty I still am



Summer - Tricks Tom into thinking he has a 2nd chance with her at their mutual friend's wedding
Distraction: Look how pretty I still am!

Conviction Tool: Haven't you missed me?

Selfish Ambition: Friends with one-sided benefits at a wedding



help. them.





Mary - Tricks the Banks' into believing that flying a kite is in any way a  decent way to pass time

Distraction: Family time

Convition: I have to leave anyway, figure yourselves out

Selfish Ambition: Bert's getting clingy again, I gotta bounce

whoops

Summer - Tricks Tom into attending her engagement party

Distraction: Look how pretty I am!

Conviction Tool: How can you say no to my prettiness?

Selfish Ambition: If this guy gets cold feet,we can hang again, right Tom? Remember. I'm very pretty.

The are exactly the same and I cannot believe I didn't notice it until now. The only difference is how the boys in their wake handle their game. Therein lies the key to likeability. No one has issue with Mary because Bert doesn't freak when she leaves him to no doubt go get her next spoon full of sugar.

If only Tom Hansen had studied Mary Poppins instead of The Graduate. He never would have let his view on love be falsely molded by such a pure, uplifting, wholesome look at love.





 

He would have been prepared for ladytricks and deception and avoided the girl he clearly couldn't handle.
But, then again, he also would never have gotten any of Summer's sugar.

Jar O' the Day: