A spoon full of tricks

So, Mary Poppins and Dick Van Bert were totally getting it on, right?

caught

This has really been on my mind lately.

I mean, I can't imagine any man singing a song called "Jolly Holiday" about a woman who he's not getting any bedonk from. Even if he is British (and obviously, therefore, extremely familiar and comfortable with employing the word "jolly" on a regular, heterosexual basis) it's a bit too gentlemanly a gesture. He obviously wants her, and her suga', and I don't really blame him. Girl can rock an umbrella.

(I've found your muse, Ri-Ri)

Ella Ella Ella

Further proof of Bert's true intentions: Single guys do not escort strangerchildren about the town for naught but to be kind. I don't care who you are, or how cool your job is (chimney sweep = hanging out in other people's houses, dancing with their wives, no dress code, and inviting all of your friends over for a dance party in the middle of the day...uh, sign me up) you are not awesome enough to make it through a whole day with those two (--->) without knowing there's a pot o' sugar at the end of the free babysitting rainbow.

These kids are a giant bore (read: way too obsessed with kites).

Also, there's this to consider: cartoon animals.

this movie is not blatantly about drugs

We know from our good friend, Popular Culture, that cartoon animals are one of the main indicators that some - eh-hem, sugar - has been gotten by at least one of the parties involved in the live action shot they appear in.

500 Days of Summer

Who Framed Rodger Rabbit



The 3 Caballeros

Songs of the South



Mmhmm. Zip-a-dee-do, indeed.

Hollywoord works in patterns. You just have to know what to look for.

This also poses a whole new question: Is Mary Poppins the original Summer Finn?

Slightly more straightforward in her love 'em & leave 'em approach, Mary is clearly not very different from our more recent shevixen, Summer from 500 Days of Summer. They both are leading ladies, they both are impressive vocalists, and they both have undeniably unique style.

The biggest difference that exists between them, their male counterparts, is probably the key as to why we don't make the connection between the two girls auomatically. Bert the Chimney Sweep and Tom Hansen could not be more un-alike in their reactions to the ladies. We can only blame the guys' differences in this area on their varrying levels of experience, but it's probably the only reason why we don't have to watch Bert have a mental breakdown after M.Pop umbrella's herself the heck out of town (and out of his arms) at the end of the movie. Knowing that this is how she rolls, and that she despises commitment (Marry Poppins), he smiles and waves her a fond farewell instead of smashing in chimneys like Tom Van Dyke might have. And that's rather nice for us in the audience becuase, while JGL is quite good at the I'm-pretty-pathetically-upset--right-now (and-doing-irrational-things-because-of-it) humor, all we really want to see Bert do is tap dance on a rooftop with 50 of his closest, most filth-ridden comrades. Or take the kids on another clearly LSD induced journey into a chalk drawing.

Both Mary and Summer are full of tricks&lies that they mask with their clever combination of distraction and conviction, which defintely are always motivated by some sort of selfish ambition on each of their parts.

Do not trust this

Mary - Tricks kids into doing chores for her

Distraction: Sugar is yummy!           

Conviction Tool: Flawed health tips

Selfish Ambition: Tiny slaves



 


Same page, for sure



Summer - Tricks Tom into easily becoming her non-boyfriend-boyfriend

Distraction: Look how pretty I am!

Conviction Tool: GF/BF labels = LAME

Selfish Ambition: Friends with (one sided) benefits

So eager to spend time together

Mary - Tricks Mr. Banks into taking his children with him to his place of work one day. A bank. Every child's dream hang-out spot. (She couldn't have suggested Disneyland?)           

Distraction: Our outings sound like drug trips? Well, at least the children know what I do on the job.
Conviction Tool: Bad parenting

Selfish Ambition: Spontaneous day off

 

Look how pretty I still am



Summer - Tricks Tom into thinking he has a 2nd chance with her at their mutual friend's wedding
Distraction: Look how pretty I still am!

Conviction Tool: Haven't you missed me?

Selfish Ambition: Friends with one-sided benefits at a wedding



help. them.





Mary - Tricks the Banks' into believing that flying a kite is in any way a  decent way to pass time

Distraction: Family time

Convition: I have to leave anyway, figure yourselves out

Selfish Ambition: Bert's getting clingy again, I gotta bounce

whoops

Summer - Tricks Tom into attending her engagement party

Distraction: Look how pretty I am!

Conviction Tool: How can you say no to my prettiness?

Selfish Ambition: If this guy gets cold feet,we can hang again, right Tom? Remember. I'm very pretty.

The are exactly the same and I cannot believe I didn't notice it until now. The only difference is how the boys in their wake handle their game. Therein lies the key to likeability. No one has issue with Mary because Bert doesn't freak when she leaves him to no doubt go get her next spoon full of sugar.

If only Tom Hansen had studied Mary Poppins instead of The Graduate. He never would have let his view on love be falsely molded by such a pure, uplifting, wholesome look at love.





 

He would have been prepared for ladytricks and deception and avoided the girl he clearly couldn't handle.
But, then again, he also would never have gotten any of Summer's sugar.

Jar O' the Day: